Don’t be afraid to ask. The worst answer you can get is no.

Lisa T.

 

Thank you, Irma Z., for sharing these wise words of your mother.

First, let’s unpack the idea of being afraid to ask because there’s more than meets the eye.

 Being afraid to ask actually has nothing to do with the question itself and little to do with the potential outcome.  It often has more to do with deep-seated fears we hold within ourselves, such as fear of being rejected or not feeling good enough.

Anybody who has experienced rejection (i.e., everyone) knows how tough that can be.  That small word “no” sure packs a big punch.

If I go out on a limb, will I be seen as insecure?  If I have to ask, what will others think of me?  If I have to ask, then maybe I’m not worthy.

Whether the feeling is: I’m not good enough, not professional enough, not old or young enough (the list goes on)…….,  the not ‘x’ enough is the fear.  It’s also the thing that gets in the/your/our way.

I believe that Irma’s mother was saying this:  If you have a burning question, whether it’s small like alternative milk at the café or big like a raise at work, you should go ahead and ask it.  Instead of overthinking it, just do it.  Step one.

Even if you feel shy/sorry/unworthy, ask it.  The worst that could happen is — nothing.  And nothing happening = you’re exactly where you’re at now.

Being okay with that is Step two.

In other words, no is not necessarily a rejection or validation of your worst fears.  No can simply mean, we can’t accommodate your request right now.  No, we don’t have the resources to pay you more.  No doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy.

Not asking is not the better option.  Not asking means you’re letting fear guide you. Not asking means you may miss a unique or amazing opportunity.  Not asking blocks you from progressing into the great unknown and possibly into all-the-things-you-want-to-be-and-do.

Moral of this story:  Don’t be afraid to take up space.  We all deserve a seat at the table. So, pull up a chair and ask that question.  Enjoy, no matter the outcome.

This week’s WOOM blog was written by Lisa T.