It would be NICE…….

Sherri T.

“It would be NICE” were the wise words my friend Bonnie’s mother Doris would say to her three children.

Doris is dearly missed by all who knew her. She was kind and caring. Loving and lovely.

 She always had a twinkle in her eye. She may have seemed shy but she was no shrinking violet. 

Doris knew how to get her kids’ attention in the most subtle way. When she would say “It would be NICE,” there was no fooling around with that request. She was advising them that it was in their best interest to heed her words.

We have to admire  her wisdom. Mothers are in a pretty tough spot. It’s a fine balancing act.

 If we tell our kids what to do, they will tell us where to go. And for sure, they won’t listen. 98% guarantee.

 If we refrain from comment, we may regret our silence down the road.

 If we hold back our words, we may end up speaking with our face. A grimace. Raised eyebrow. Wrinkled brow.

Worse still, we may speak with our body. Slouched shoulders. Deep sigh. The loudest message of all.  

Sometimes, it’s better to say what’s on our mind – but just mind what we say.

Doris had it all figured out. Get the kids to do what you want by suggesting “It would be NICE.”

How do kids ignore, let alone push back against, that kind of request? She hasn’t actually instructed them to do something. She has simply given a NICE (read “STRONG”) hint. 

She hasn’t criticized them for not doing something. Because she knows they will do what she is “proposing.” She knows she will get more action by implying than imploring. Intimating than indicating.

Doris knew well how to fudge the nudge. She invoked the kid-glove approach. 

She skillfully employed the power of four small words. “It would be NICE” clearly punched above their weight in letters and meaning.

It was a brilliant one-two knockout. All strategy, no strike.

Leave it to our mothers to figure out this most delicate balance. Tell your kids exactly what to do without actually telling them what to do. Nice.