You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube
Sherri T.
These are the wise words of Beth, mother of WOOM reader John.
Good for you, Beth. Tell it like it is. Anyone who has tried to coax toothpaste back in the tube knows the problem.
How much more visually and verbally direct can you get?
Not like my mother whose images were often more poetic than pointed. “Your height is measured from the neck up,” she would say. Her message? Act with intelligence and integrity. Take the high road.
Or Bonnie’s mother Doris who would suggest: “It would be NICE….” Translation: “This is what I want you to do.” The ultimate ultimatum.
Or Dana’s mother Sylvia who would ask: “Is that what you’re wearing?”
Why did Sylvia ask if she was clearly able to see what her daughter was wearing? Because she clearly didn’t like what her daughter was wearing.
Or Deb’s mother who wanted to ensure that her daughter would stand up to peer pressure. Why not provide direct advice like: “Stand up to peer pressure.” Why not say: “Don’t be afraid to have a mind of your own.”
Because the good clear advice is so vanilla. It needs a bit of edge. Bring on the drama and you now have: “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”
Why are mothers always so dramatic? Why do they play with words to play with our world? Why do they need analogy and allegory to teach a life lesson?
Sometimes we just need some tough tube-and-toothpaste talk. It would be so refreshing.
You may have said something you regret. Or you may have done something you wish you hadn’t.
The tale of the toothpaste-and-the-tube teaches us not to dwell on the past or on things we can’t change. Not to waste precious time mulling over what might have been.
It doesn’t mean that messy circumstances should be ignored. There are some important things we can do. Apologize. Make amends. Learn from our mistakes and determine what we can do differently in future.
Beth is right. It may not be easy to put the toothpaste back in the tube. But it is always possible to make a fresh, clean start.