When your grandmother is your grandfather (a second look)

Sherri T.

 Dear WOOMers:  This week’s theme is: Laughter is the best medicine.”  Because we all need some humor in these very tough times, I wanted to re-post a blog that really made me laugh.   Enjoy!

 What on earth does this mean?  And why, my friend Jeffrey wondered, did his grandmother Sadie use this funny expression?

It is only now, many decades later, that Jeffrey appreciates what she was trying to say.

“When your grandmother is your grandfather” was Sadie’s way of invoking the clever mother rule.  There are many variations to this rule.  It typically is used as a way to give a strong message without ever saying it.

The clever mother rule is an indirect way of getting your kids to do what you want.  In this case, “when your grandmother is your grandfather” was basically a long and winding way of saying two letters.  No.

Truth be told, it was more than just no.  It was really: “That is never going to happen. Don’t ask again.  In fact, don’t even think about it.  Absolutely never.”

Turns out Sadie was not the only person for whom saying no was an extreme sport.  There are many other dramatic articulations of this message.

It is not uncommon, for instance, to hear about a “frosty Friday in July.” Or “when hell freezes over.”  Or “when there are four Thursdays in a week.”

Why the drama?  Because it strengthens and adds heft to the message.  It is all for effect.

Mothers know this.  It is impossible for kids to see three exclamations marks.  So mothers must find a way to convey them.

Funny how times change. With climate change, a frosty Friday in July is no longer an impossibility. It no longer carries the weight it once did. And with gender transition now an option, it may actually be possible for your grandmother to be your grandfather.

At the time though, the drama worked its magic on Jeffrey.  It was stop-you-in-your-tracks outrageous.  The phrase was said once to make you think (at least) twice. It was meant to attract attention, which it clearly has done.

The request, whatever it may be, has no hope.  Don’t even entertain it.  Close the door on that thought and lock it for good. 

Perhaps the most important lesson of all.  Jeffrey still remembers his grandmother’s (wise?) words.

Good job, Sadie. It worked.