Everyone needs to be needed

Sherri T.

These were the wise words of Mona, mother of dear friend Gwen F.  While the message seems simple and obvious, it is actually deep and profound.

Mona was teaching Gwen about the importance of showing respect and consideration for others.  To recognize that every individual has worth and needs to feel appreciated and valued. 

Mona would have had no idea about the coming flood of research that would make her words so meaningful.  The notion of being needed and belonging now lies at the heart of many fields. 

A virtual explosion of research has been published in recent years on the value of social capital.  It refers to social relationships and networks of people willing to help each other.  A rich network of relationships has been linked to better health, emotional wellbeing and financial security.  Social capital creates a sense of being rooted.  Of being needed.

Organizations representing persons with disabilities have long been working toward a world that is more accommodating and inclusive.  While income security and disability supports figure prominently on their agenda, perhaps equally vital are the notions of self-worth and respect.  One group created a national Belonging Initiative, which effectively embeds Mona’s message in all their work.  They talk about the significance, above all else, of being accepted and belonging.  The need to be needed. 

Community development guru John McKnight has written extensively about how every person − no matter how troubled or poor − has unique talents and gifts.  Every person has strengths.  Every person has abilities.  Every person needs to be needed.

The business world is also embracing the theme that people matter.  Consulting giant McKinsey recently published research findings that made a clear case for diversity and inclusion.  Management experts are now advising businesses that if they want to create a truly inclusive culture, they must consider the idea of belonging.  Every employee needs to be needed.

How could Mona have had any idea about the weight of her wise words?  She was simply teaching her children to be respectful and compassionate individuals.  She likely never knew that her caring words lie at the heart of what we now understand about our humanity.