Accept it and then revel in it

Sherri T.

These are the wise words of dear friend Julia B.  I was recently telling her about a situation that was frustrating because I felt I had little control over it. Her advice (without skipping a beat) was the following: “Accept it and then revel in it” (with the emphasis on revel).

Talk about “stop-in-your-tracks, make-you-think” wise words.

They reminded me of the conversation I accidentally overheard at my new office – the brick-walled coffee shop down the block.  Actually, it wasn’t accidental because I was (minding my own business) listening in. 

Two young women were sharing stories about how they used to feel the need to be in control of every situation.  They were personally responsible for its success – or lack thereof.  The anticipation of the aftermath automatically aroused associated anxiety.  They were definitely not A-OK.

One then made a heartfelt and welcome confession.  She confided in her friend (and me) that it had taken her a long time to back off and to realize that she could not control every set of circumstances.  Neither could she take responsibility for everything.  She basically had learned over the years and with great effort to liberate herself from herself.

At this point, I’m wondering how I can join their self-help group when I hadn’t actually been listening to their conversation. 

Because I could relate.  That was my story too.

If I am involved in something, I want to be engaged in its planning and I want it to be excellent (read “perfect”).  In fact, my mother would always say: “If something is worth doing, then it’s worth doing well.”

Julia wasn’t having any of it.  She most likely told me to “accept it and then revel in it” to curb the ready-to-spiral control obsession.

The words came rolling off her lips as though she had said them 100 times before.  Not so.  They literally just spilled out of her head and her heart. 

While her words may not be tried, they sure do ring true. 

 Just ease up on yourself.  Go with the flow and enjoy the ride.  Be prepared to accept “accept.”  Then be prepared to “revel” as your reward.