Drink your coffee bitter and your tea sweet

Sherri T.

Little did I know when dear friend Yohai came for tea that I would learn a life-changing lesson.  Well, it may not have been life-changing but it certainly was a lesson I’ll never forget. 

That’s because Yohai was so sure of his words. Perhaps more memorable, he was surprised that I hadn’t heard of this vital protocol. Most important, they were the words of his grandmother. Who am I to argue with grandma?

I had just finished pouring tea and asked whether he takes sugar.  He looked at me quizzically.  Why the need to ask?

Then he broke the loud silence: “You drink your coffee bitter and your tea sweet.”

Who knew? Clearly not me. 

Now these can hardly be categorized as “wise words” in the conventional sense.  They provide neither life wisdom nor guidance.  Yet they are noteworthy because they represent family tradition, which is often embedded in custom and culture. 

These words are not merely food rules. They are food roots. Treat with respect.

Other food rules are not profound but are helpful (and healthful) tips. Rae, the mother of my friend Marilyn, would say: “If you order decaf at night, ask for the server’s number.”

Who hasn’t had a sleepless night or two after ordering ‘decaf’ in a restaurant?

Rae never actually took anyone’s number. It was just her clever way of saying: “If this isn’t decaf, we will both spend the night lying wide awake.” 

But the tea and coffee conventions are really worth nothing unless you know the associated rules of dessert. On this, my mother was clear.   

One evening after dinner, she asked whether I would like to eat my pie with a fork or spoon.  When I said “spoon,” she admonished me that you should always eat pie with a fork. (Then why did you ask? But I digress.)

Sometimes the words of our mothers are wise not in a deep or serious way. Their words will not bring about big change in our families or communities. Or heal the world in any way.

But they may influence our behavior and even make us pause and smile. Now these are truly worthy words.