Remember who you are and where you came from

Sherri T.

“Remember who you are and where you came from” were the wise words of my friend Janet’s mother Doreen. 

At first, it may sound odd to remind someone as they walk out the door to recall where they came from. It’s not as though, at age 16, Janet was experiencing memory problems. Or that she would be unable to find her way home on public transit.

More than 40 years later, Janet vividly remembers those words of her mother. She still thinks about what Doreen was trying to say to her.

Rather than articulating precisely what they mean, mothers sometimes couch their messages in polite, extreme or symbolic language. Their intent is not always immediately obvious and usually provokes hesitation or thought.

Bonnie’s mother Doris would suggest: “It would be nice if you…  .” What she really meant was: “You had better do this.” 

Jeffrey’s grandmother Sadie would alert him: “When your grandmother is your grandfather.” Translation: “That will never happen. Absolutely never.”

Doreen’s words were also indirect but deeply profound. She was basically telling Janet: “You were raised in a home with strong values. These values create a solid foundation that will always serve as a beacon to help you through tough choices. They will remain with you as guideposts for the rest of your life.”

These words were also Doreen’s way of telling Janet to resist peer pressure and not be afraid to be an individual. Friends may try to goad you into doing things that you don’t want to do or that you know you shouldn’t do. So don’t.

Janet believes these words were also her mother’s way of conveying something that is generally difficult to say directly to a teenager. We are a family with a good reputation in the community.  Don’t do anything that will end up embarrassing us or yourself. Period. Full stop.

Doreen’s wise words were significant in many ways. Her message relayed many layers of meaning. They helped build character, they acted as guideposts and they provided quiet, but serious, warning. To this day, they are a vital reminder not only to Janet but to us all: remember and respect your roots.