Choose nice

Sherri T.

“If you have a choice, choose nice.” These were the wise words of Belle, my friend’s mother. 

Turns out, my mother (also Belle) had similar advice. “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything.” Different words, somewhat different meaning. Same intent. 

The two Belles were basically teaching us a vital lesson: not to engage in idle chatter. To do the right thing by people. To overlook the faults and find the fabulous.

Our mothers knew how easy it is to talk about people. How simple it is to find everything that’s wrong with someone rather than everything that’s right. 

Their advice was basically a variation of the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Their message needs no explanation. It should not even be necessary to say. 

Unfortunately, it has become all too important to remind ourselves of the power of nice. Perhaps more than ever.

Our mothers had no way of knowing at the time what was to come. Social media madness has both   captivated and captured the world. Some of it wonderful. Much of it not. 

Perhaps the biggest problem is that anything goes. Online now means license – to harass, to badger, to offend, to slur, to taunt. The cloak of anonymity has made it okay to hurt others with no personal price to pay. 

Linked or not, like it or not, a new tone has also taken over the public domain. We see fewer buddies and more bullies. Insinuations have become insults. Offense is now offensive.

The message of our mothers needs to be heard loudly and clearly. They gave us this wisdom so that we could live comfortably with ourselves.

A friend shared a wise expression from her parents: “Don’t do anything in the day that will keep you up at night.”

Our mothers were telling us: “Don’t say anything in the day that keeps someone else up at night.” 

They wanted us to understand that our words hold weight. Our words carry meaning. And our words can be mean. 

So if we have a choice (and we usually do), choose nice. Thanks, moms.